Me

Insult me, spit in my face, sure.
No one wants me near them anyway.
Be down right nasty? Fine, suit yourself.

Ignore me? Pretend I never spoke?
Hurts, cuts real deep, in the heart.
Be like the others...Ignorance is bliss.

Whatever? Shrugging? Be that way.
It's your life, my soul being torn.
No big deal, happens often enough anyway.

Funny how I can deal with arrows,
Sad I can't handle ignorance.
Weird - maybe it's childhood memories again.

Years of being bullied actually help,
Means the knives get blunter,
Every single time it's easier for my heart.

Depressing that I don't know enough
Not a big socialiser when you're bullied.
Call me nigelated, or consider me a ghost.

Amusing, recollections of enemies.
Never knew they'd make me stronger.
That acquaintances would do more damage.

Ever been bullied? It's no big deal.
Ever been rejected? Hurts somewhat.
Ever been completely ignored? It kills.

Want my life? Feels nice sometimes.
Parents ignore you when you're good.
Then you're the worst in the world when bad.

Gotta look at the up side of things.
You got the friends, still hurts though.
Can you ever really trust people with a heart.

My heart, broken too many times.
Patchy but still beating, faintly.
Consider it again? They don't care one bit.

They dun wanna feel guilty if you,
Jump, or well, die essentially.
Stick around till they forget, they will.

Laugh when they want you to, happy.
Sometimes it dun feel like that much,
Don't even seem like a lie after a while.

Tell them secrets? Fine, what the heck.
Look, now they know how you really feel.
Dun laugh till they can't hear you anymore.

Wait a few more years, no need then,
They wun need to see you breathing.
No need to take from you, company or otherwise.

Used? A little, enough to make it hurt.
Betrayed? Never, my own little choice.
A liar? To the core and back, a game to play.

Friends? Not really, more like people.
People that finally noticed you there.
People that won't even remember later on.

Secrets? All true, shouldn't be though.
Hope? Every damned day. For...affection?
Reality? You're still a no one, a loner inside.

KC - 16/7/05