Drabble (200 words)

It’s just a crush.

How many times have you repeated that to yourself, but you know that you don’t want to express it any other way. If you said you were in love with her, you know that you’d probably break down in tears and start hitting your head into the wall. Yet you also know that labelling this feeling as something as simple as a crush just didn’t do it any justice.

You know that she deserves someone better; smarter, stronger, and better looking perhaps. Then again, that was the reason you were trying to pretend it was just a stupid crush. You wish she’d just get a boyfriend already, or just get someone special so that you knew that you’d never have a chance, but that didn’t seem to be happening any time soon and it was killing you.

It’s a sweet kind of torture, this desire for something so completely unattainable, and you aren’t quite sure you’d want it to go away even if you had a chance to get rid of it. Feeling pain for her was better than feeling nothing. At least that’s what you tell yourself as you cry yourself to sleep every night.

It's a short non-sensical thing that just came to me...

Stone Sour - Bother

Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest

I wish I had a reason;
My flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten with its memories
Diaries left with cryptic entries

And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds

You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on
I'll never live down my deceit