The Joys of Making Up (Part 1)

I uhh....added a bit to the end...YES THAT MADE IT NC-17...blame Ray

Title: The Joys of Making Up (Part 1)

Rating: NC-17

Summary: Someone leaves, another one leaves, and then they meet again (though not where most people meet) I supposed you could call it a continuation of Del/Senna. Goldie also told me that I wasn’t allowed to kill Del, so it’s going to have a happier ending. Ray told me to do NC-17 so…I’M SORRY INNOCENT PEOPLE!!...just...skip some parts… (For the sake of the innocent all sections which are blotted out are NC-17…read at your own risk)

Feedback: I want it, you’ve got it. GIMME!

Warnings: it’s FemSlash (f/f) so if you don’t like those pairings, don’t read it. It’s also NC-17 for a reason…that is R 18+ for anyone unfamiliar with US ratings

Two years, three months, two weeks and five days.

Add in about ten hours and twenty-seven minutes and you’d have the amount of time she had been gone.

I picked up my coffee mug which deceptively had no coffee in it and stared at the empty place where coffee was supposed to be. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair. I sighed and stood up, it was late already anyway and I figured I might as well start working.

We had lasted the entirety of uni. That was an entire five years. I guess I was surprised we lasted as long as we did and I suppose I had been expecting to have ended sooner which only served to soften the blow when she left. It wasn’t a simple, I need to go downtown sort of left. It was more of a, I’m going overseas, don’t come with me I want to start anew and I honestly don’t think we’re worth it sort of left.

I mean, she kept in contact with Marie and Erica but the only thing I ever heard from her was a random email about the weather. Then again, that was only once and I haven’t heard from her since.

That led me to moving too. With hugs and teary farewells I moved to a small town pretty much in the middle of nowhere. I am essentially the resident handy-(wo)man and spend my days fixing up the houses around me for fairly low prices. On the side, I’m just a carpenter who makes boxes, cabinets and drawers and sell it out to people that may want it. It’s a limited demand so I make most of it on weekends and spend the rest of the week doing repair jobs around town.

It was a simple life and it was relatively easy but it was work that took my mind off everything and for that I was grateful. The less I thought about Senna, the less it would hurt me wondering who she might be with now. It was while I was working on a specific box that I received a call from a fairly big company that wanted to buy my designs and talk to me about a contract with them.

After a long debate with Jen – and when I say long I mean two month argument – I decided to consider it if they would give me more information. Which was why I was waiting in the only coffee house in the nowhere town I lived for a Mr. Jameson or something along those lines.

When the bell went for another visitor, Zach came in from the back and prepared to serve the customer while I kept reading a new book I’d picked up. It wasn’t until a minute later that I realised that Zach was calling me. Looking up I glanced at him before my eyes landed on the one person I never thought I’d ever see again.

Senna was standing in the coffee shop looking about as shocked as I was and just about as confused.

“Del?” she asked. Her voice was soft and she sounded so surprised that I knew she didn’t even have a clue I was here. For some reason that cut me deep to know that she would never have come here to see me of her own accord.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. I mentally winced at how harsh my voice came out and even Zach seemed to sense the tension in the room and silently left the room.

“I’m here to meet with the carpenter hereabouts. I haven’t really taken my time to read the profile. I was early so I figured I’d have time to sort it out before they came. Until Zach sort of pointed it out that you were it,” she explained. Her face flushed a little when she realised that she had rambled slightly in her attempt to soothe the tone I’d spoken to her in.

“I need to go,” I said shortly. She seemed hurt at my tone but I really couldn’t deal with it right then. I wasn’t over the shock that she was physically near me again, and if I was honest to myself, I didn’t want to risk letting her break my heart again.

Back at my house which doubled as my workspace, I went upstairs to my bedroom and stared at the photo sitting on the side of my bed. I had tried dating other women, two in total, but neither of them had worked out. Mainly because I couldn’t let go of Senna and though one of my exes had a hard time dealing with that, the other seemed to understand and we had become friends. Though in a town as small as this, everyone was a friend and the few that became enemies usually had the entire town on two different sides.

Everyone knew about my bad break up with Hilary and though she couldn’t let go of it, the entire town forgave me and was only civil to her because I had asked them to let me handle it myself. Though I really hadn’t done anything except change my locks and make sure she couldn’t get into my house while I was sleeping at night. That was one bad incident that I would rather forget.

Yet now the woman I had been pining after for the last two year was back again, and for the purpose of discussing my contract and my work. How was I supposed to look her in the eye knowing that she didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore and yet having no choice because it was her job? Frustrated and annoyed I jumped and landed on my bed with a giant sigh, trying to stave off my frustration by being physically more active.

Staring up at the blank ceiling I decided to work. It was what I usually did when I didn’t want to think, though to be honest I would usually end up thinking about her anyway. For no other reason than because the first box I had ever made was made for her.

Getting off the bed, I changed into my working clothes and tied my hair up properly so that it was out of the way. My clothes were stained from all the times I had worked in them but they were still comfortable and that’s all that really counted to me. It was essentially just a singlet and some fairly thin cotton pants. I didn’t really believe in using machines so most of my work was done by hand. The sanding on the other hand I would settle for using an electric one as well as a drill. Some things were just better done by power tools.

Walking down stairs and then out to the back where my workshop was I didn’t really focus on anything except the designs that I was going to use for the next box that had three buyers. Trying to get the perfect cut or the perfect tint is next to impossible when working with wood. Despite my need to perfect my work, I still couldn’t get her out of my mind and I spent half the time wondering why she had returned.

Finally giving up, I changed back into my slacks and grabbed a cup of hot chocolate. Staring at the little bits of chocolate floating around, I thought back to the fight we had had before she had walked out of my life.

“Del?” asked Senna, her voice full of surprise.

I looked up at her from the book I was reading and waited for her to continue.

“I got accepted,” she said.

It took me a second to fully comprehend what she was talking about, but when I did I couldn’t help the pride smile that broke out on my face. I stood up and hugged her.

“Congrats baby,” I said cheerfully. I kissed her gently and tried to coax her back to me from whatever world she had landed herself in with her thoughts.

“I don’t want to go,” she said nervously. I stared at her.

“Why not?” I asked in disbelief. I pulled away from her and tried to look into her eyes but she kept her head firmly down.

“I…can’t,” she whispered.

“Why?” I lifted her head so that I could meet her eyes and what I saw had me in a panic. There were tear tracks running down her face and her eyes were still watery.

“Baby what’s wrong?” I asked. She dropped the letter in her hands and hugged me tight, her face buried in my shirt.

“I don’t want this to end.” Her muffled explanation confused me and I considered drawing away from her to question her but I knew that she just needed to be held right now. There was time for questions later.

I took her to bed and spent the night just watching over her. She fell into an exhausted sleep around four am and I finally succumbed an hour later.

When morning came she was still lying next to me. I knew she wasn’t asleep for no other reason than because she always woke up earlier than me that and the small circles she was drawing on my arm gave her away.

“Want to talk about it?” I asked. She had been so worried she wouldn’t get the offer that I had done everything to calm her. At this moment it still hadn’t hit me what accepting it would mean for us.

“I don’t want to leave,” she whispered.

“You’re not leaving, you’ve just got a job,” I said perplexed.

“Yes, a job in America,” she muttered wryly. For a moment I was stunned. I had sincerely forgotten that it was in America. I didn’t even remember that the job was on the other side of the world. Who would have known that a job would be the one hurdle we couldn’t jump.

“You can still do it,” I noted.

“And us?”

“Long distance…”

“Long distance never works,” she interrupted. She was annoyed and frustrated and I knew that making her choose between me and her dream job was killing her.

“We’ve never even tried. How would you know?” I countered.

“Remember Alex and Fiona?” she demanded.

“They aren’t us!”

“They could be.”

“You don’t know that,” I tried to soothe. She leant on her elbows on top of me and looked at me. I tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear.

“Do you want me to leave?” she asked. I looked her in the eye and thought about it, settling for honesty.

“No, but I know what this means to you and I’m not standing in the way of it,” I replied.

“So you want me to go?”

“I think you should. I want you to stay.”

“So you’re telling me to go even though you don’t want to?” she clarified.

“Pretty much, yes,” I said. She looked into my eyes and I don’t know what she saw but whatever it was seemed to settle whatever was troubling her. She got up and out of bed, moving towards the bathroom.

“Then we’re over,” she said simply.

“What?” I asked, shocked. She closed the bathroom door and before I could open the door again she just called out.

“You’re going to be late if you don’t go now.”

I had glanced at the clock and tore out of there without a second thought. I needed to get to uni for my final exam. I figured she was probably joking, that she wouldn’t leave without at least saying goodbye, and that this could be dealt with later. Except later was when I walked into the apartment we shared and noticed that everything had already been packed away and cleared out. The house was already devoid of her and her set of keys were sitting on the table without a note or anything.

Holding my head in my hands I sighed and leant back in my chair. How was I supposed to deal with her back here again with that type of departure? I didn’t even get a goodbye and she expected me to be calm about seeing her again? I didn’t even know she had changed jobs. Especially since the job she had left for had been her dream job. And now she was back in Australia.

Closing my eyes I rested my head on the back of the sofa and just waited, sorting out my thoughts one by one. Who was I to say anything though? After she had left I hadn’t even bothered to find a job following the degree I had gotten. It reminded me too much of her. Essentially everything did, but just seeing the word engineer would make me remember times when we would study, me lying on our bed with an engineering textbook and her sitting at the desk writing up notes for her thesis on nuclear research and specific types of effects that could be harnessed for stronger links to power efficiency.

I laughed at myself. She may have gone to America to get her dream job as a nuclear researcher, but she was somehow here in Australia in a business industry that was trying to buy my designs. I laughed at the jump in her career choices and the laughter slowly died and turned into sobs. Why had everything gone so wrong?

Somewhere along the lines I fell asleep on the chair. The next thing I knew I woke up to the sound of someone knocking on the door. Getting up and still half asleep I answered it, slightly groggy.

“Yea?” I asked.

Senna looked at me and her mouth twitched slightly as she tried not to laugh.

“You haven’t changed,” she said jokingly, “You still look cute when you just wake up.”

As she realised what she had just said, her smile faded and a pain entered her eyes. I couldn’t help the echo of pain that went straight to my heart nor the pain of knowing exactly what I had lost.

“Did you need something?” My tone was still harsher than necessary but I didn’t want to let her in, not after last time. I was being stubborn and perhaps I should just forgive and forget but she still looked perfect and I couldn’t help but want her all over again. I could still read her reactions and though others wouldn’t have noticed her imperceptible movement, I saw her flinch and felt an answering stab inside.

“I’m here to go through the paperwork with you. It’s simple and it should be done within a few hours,” she said softly. I heard a slight tremor in her voice but wasn’t sure what it meant.

The internal debate was settled with the thought I don’t care what she’s here for or how she left, I just know that I still want to be with her.

Opening the door a little more to let her in, I couldn’t help but give a half-smile. I didn’t trust myself to do much else and I knew that I was nobody around her. At any rate, I was just basking in the knowledge that she was around me again.

“It’s nice,” she said.

I wasn’t sure how she wanted me to react but the comment made me feel light headed. She liked where I live.

“Thanks,” I said. I guess I could do something right.

“Just sit down and make yourself comfortable then,” I said, playing host, “Would you like something to drink?”

“Water’s fine,” she replied, setting down a bag I hadn’t even noticed she was carrying and taking out some papers.

I wondered if she had changed all that much in the years we had been apart. Hoping that we hadn’t, I mixed some cold water with lukewarm water to make it chilled like she used to like it.

Accepting with a small smile she took a sip and I watched as her eyes widened slightly. Curious as to the explanation of her reaction but unwilling to verbally question her, I simply took my seat next to her on the only couch in the room and thus only available seat.

After a few hours of discussion which was purely work I noticed that it was beginning to get late and wondered if she was hungry or had anywhere to stay.

“How much longer will this be?” I asked after I had finished filling in a few more details.

“About three more hours I suppose,” she replied. Sighing and rubbing a hand over her tired eyes.

“How about I just make something for dinner and we can continue this later or something?” I offered. She looked at me surprised, as though she hadn’t even considered taking a break, at least not one with me in it.

“If you want to stop we could just continue this tomorrow,” she said resignedly. We both knew that the chances of us finishing tonight were slim to none.

“Where are you staying?” I asked, determined to at least know that much.

“I was just going to find a motel somewhere,” she replied. I looked at her incredulously and she looked away.

“You might as well stay here, I don’t think any sane person would want to live in the only motel hereabouts,” I said, my tone suggested that I wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“I don’t want to be a bother,” she muttered.

“I don’t want you dead,” I countered.

She looked at me curiously and I shook my head, now was not the time to explain who Hilary was and I didn’t think she’d really care about it in the first place. Though Hilary would definitely consider her a threat and I really didn’t want to know what she would want to do to Senna.

“Just stay here for the night, you said it yourself that this shouldn’t take more than three hours. We can continue it in the morning. I’ll make us some dinner,” I said. She nodded slowly, not quite sure what was going on but willing to accept at least that much.

“Do you need any help?” she asked.

“Nah…I do it all the time now. Sort of had to get used to it,” I explained. I went into the bathroom and washed my hands.

“Where’s your gear?” I asked when I came back into the room.

“In my car,” she replied, closing her bag and checking to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything else.

“You can get what you need now and just stick it in the bedroom; it’s the door on the right up the stairs. The other door is the bathroom, feel free to shower and freshen up. Dinner should be ready in about half an hour or so,” I said. She nodded as she digested this information.

I left for the kitchen before she had even made a move to stand up. It was while I was preparing the food that I heard the front door close and I let out a breath I hadn’t realised I was holding. Something told me that she was going to upend my entire life again.

Dinner was a simple matter. It wasn’t like I was a culinary chef or anything, but living alone had forced me to learn how to cook, for no other reason than because I couldn’t stand eating the same food every day.

There was however, a stony silence between us while we ate and though I might have seemed to be ignoring her, I didn’t know how I could watch her or converse with her. I knew that if I looked up from my food, I’d see her eating, and for some reason I had always found the sight to be entirely too sinful to be normal.

After dinner, we resumed talk of the contract before finally calling it a night around 11 pm.

She stared at me when I told her that it was late. I used to sleep around three in the morning, sometimes later. I just shrugged and told her that I’d shower and do all my nightly rituals before letting her use the bathroom. She agreed and we separated. Once again, she was left to pack away the documents while I prepared the normal habits I had seemed to accumulate over the years.

Standing in the shower, I realised just how much of my life had been reduced to habit. I had stopped doing anything remotely resembling spontaneous since she had left. At first the habits had just been something to do so that I could stop thinking about her, but then I had just given up on doing anything else. I briefly wondered if the habits that I had accumulated were just so that I could stop living and just exist.

After a quick shower I was about to go down the stairs when I saw her standing in my room. Peeking in, out of curiosity more than anything, I watched as she reached out to touch something on my dresser. Trying to remember what I had put there, I had to stifle a gasp when I realised I had left a picture of us there.

I must have made some kind of noise because she started speaking.

“Why did you keep it?”

Her voice was soft and lacking any discerning emotion. Her back didn’t help to provide any information either. I figured that she didn’t want to think of us like that and tried to find the most passive way of replying. I really didn’t want her to leave.

Putting my entire being on the line I decided that the truth was probably the best way to go. She didn’t deserve lies and if I was going to do this, I had to be honest, if of anything so that I wouldn’t drown in regret.

“I’m not over you,” I managed to say. It was barely above a whisper but she heard it anyway and I saw her shoulders slump a little. Realising I had likely over-stepped comfortable measures I remembered the reason I was looking for her in the first place.

“The bathroom’s free. I’m going to sleep now; I’ll be on the couch downstairs if you need me. You might want to close the door as well. I wake up a little early,” I said hurriedly. I left before I got a reply and almost ran down the stairs in my haste to get away.

It was later when I was lying down on the less than comfortable couch that I heard her come in. I shut my eyes and breathed evenly, assuming sleep position.

I felt her smile more than anything else. I also felt her come closer and brush some of my hair out of my face.

“I know you’re not asleep, at least I’d like to think I know, but if you don’t want to talk to me, you don’t have to. Just know that I’m not over you either. I never was and never will be.” Her voice broke slightly in the last sentence and I resisted temptation to just open my eyes and check.

“At any rate, good night, I guess I’ll see you in the morning,” she whispered. She touched my brow one more time before moving away.

For a single moment I was never more aware of what I may be losing if I didn’t do something. Reaching out instinctively, I caught her hand before it had fully cleared my personal space. My eyes shot open and I looked into her surprised eyes. Studying her face, I saw tear tracks and instantly felt like an idiot.

We stayed like that for a while, the silence slowly turning awkward. Finally breaking the silence I said the only thing in my mind.

“I don’t know what to say.”

The admission made her release a laugh. It wasn’t really much more than a break in tension and her laugh wasn’t more than out of relief, but I couldn’t help the feeling of pride for managing to make her laugh, even if it wasn’t a giant display of mirth.

She gave me a half grin that melted my insides all over again and I couldn’t help but return the smile.

“You don’t have to say anything,” she said gently. I nodded my understanding and swung my legs around, never letting go of her hand. She looked at me curiously and I just stood up so that we were almost head to head. She was still taller than me and a smile tugged at my lips. I looked into her eyes and brought up my other hand, gently brushing away the dried tears on her face.

I felt her tense slightly, as if she wasn’t fully sure what to expect.

“I know we have a lot to work through. I know that we still have so much to work out, to catch up on and I know we need to know if we’re still compatible. But for tonight, just for tonight, can you let me show me how much you still mean to me? I’ve only had dreams and I don’t know if I can handle going through another night without you in my arms,” I said. I hadn’t stopped the reverent touching of her face and she shivered slightly from the light trails I was drawing on her face.

Our eyes met and I swear I saw her soul there. As though finally deciding something, she nodded slightly before grabbing my face and kissing me passionately. Tongues duelled and deeply buried fires were reborn with a vengeance. Suddenly I couldn’t get enough of her.

Just touching her wasn’t enough. I wanted, no, needed to feel her. I needed to hear her call for me as much as I had called for her in my heart and mind. I needed to know that I could still make her lose her mind. I needed to know that she was still mine.

Our lips were locked as we tried to make it to the bedroom. Admittedly we were slightly distracted with everything else whilst trying to get there. Shirts and pants were thrown haphazardly as fast as physically possible. It meant that by the time we had reached the stairs, one of my hands was palming her breast while the other was pressing her closer to me in the middle of her back.

“Off,” I demanded. She instantly pulled off her bra. Before she even had time to return to our kiss, I had latched onto a breast and proceeded to bite and suck on it. Her moans did nothing but encourage me and after a few minutes of one I moved onto the other one.

By now we had given up on making it to the bedroom and so I had just pushed her up against the wall and began running a hand up her thigh. The moment I had almost reached where she wanted me most, I traced up the other thigh from her knee. After a few times of doing that she was groaning and trying to force me to move closer with her body.

“Tell me,” I whispered.

“Please,” she begged.

“Please what?”

“I need…”

She closed her eyes and I felt her entire body sigh when I finally touched her gently. I pulled her undies off and ran a finger along her slit. Her gasp made me do it again but she had other plans. Her hips bucked against me as my finger slipped in and plunged deep into her. She let out a moan and grinded against my hand.

“You’re so wet,” I moaned. Her only response was a guttural moan.

I slipped a second finger in and set a slow pace.

“Harder…” she begged.

Pushing deeper into her with every thrust I felt her tremble around my fingers and savoured every moment of it. “…oh gods…faster…please…” Her words began to come randomly interspersed between moans and I obeyed her. I felt her reaching the brink and decided to prolong the experience. Slowing down again I felt her nails dig into my shoulders.

“…no…please…don’t …stop…”

Unable to deny her this pleasure I sped up again. This time, as she reached the brink again, I pressed hard onto her clit and she screamed out my name as her muscles quivered around my fingers. I slowed down and let her ride out her orgasm as she came back to me.

Soaked in sweat and though content for the time being, she looked into my eyes and I knew that the night was far from over. She stripped me of my remaining clothes and then dragged me upstairs. The night was soon lost in moans and screams as we worshipped each others bodies.

Part 2 will come....soon...