Apparently I need to write

So it's been a very very long time since my last crush ended and my new crush has started.

If you rewind in this blog, you'll find a lot of writing on a person who (from memory) isn't ever named. To be honest, I failed as a friend and let us drift apart. I probably miss her more as a friend than anything else now, though that said, I've found other people that fill the void that she filled.

Is it weird that I thought that she was my everything, that she was something that I needed, and if I really think about it now, she never really deserved the strange infatuation I had?

I should probably clarify. She'll still be my first serious crush, but at the same time, she was never on my mind half as much as my new crush and I never needed to be around her even a tenth of how much I need to be around my new crush.

My new crush is my girlfriend. She's all kinds of awesome and all kinds of hot. She doesn't believe me when I compliment her, but I figure if I say it enough she'll eventually have to get the point.

I could probably go on about her for hours, and then she'd flay me because it's 1:40 am and I have work in the morning. The only reason she's not yelling at me now is because she fell asleep, as she tends to, while she was on the phone with me.

I have a feeling she's going to kill me for writing that up on a public blog.

To finish this off in a less depressing way than the rest of this blog, because this blog is insanely depressing, though I've forgotten most of it.

I love her, I know she loves me to. I know she thinks that I don't trust her as much as she trusts me but I hope she realises that I do trust her, just in a different way. She could lead me to a cliff edge and tell me to jump and I would do it. There might be a slight argument that would precede the jump, but assuming that she just wants me to, and possibly if she makes a cute sad face that I can't resist, I'll jump off.

I know I can't convince her that I trust her more than before and that it'll take a lifetime for me to trust in someone so completely that I don't feel like I'm going to be abandoned. I suppose I should explain to her properly the next time I see her, but until then, I'll just hope that she sticks around long enough to realise that I trust her more than anyone else in my life.

Sleepy time...or well...it was sleepy time about an hour or two ago...work's going to be so exciting...