I Hope

The trees sway in the breeze and hide me from the rain,
Catching the tears of the heavens so that I may be warm.
They remind me of you and how you used to hold me
When I was lost in the dark; so scared, confused, alone.
But you’re not here to hold me anymore, not now,
Not when I need you to save me from the real darkness.
I could scream aloud but you would never hear me calling,
You always did hate my voice. I hope my silence is pleasing,
It would be the best thing I’ve ever done for you.

There’s a scuffling sound that emerges from the bushes.
I run. Only to fall to the ground; my face landing in mud.
The tang of earth settles on my tongue, I gag and spit,
And yet the taste remains, like the taste of you used to.
It weaved with the scent of your skin to keep me safe,
To wrap around me and protect me from the demons I now face.
All my stench is hidden by the smell of death and decay,
At least I can no longer disgust you with my presence,
I hope my absence gives you all the freedom that you seek.

I lie upon the ground and feel an animal sniff my form,
I hope it thinks I’m dead and renders my flesh from bone.
My death would be unnoticed, just a body on the ground.
Just like the leaves that lie around me I would disappear.
I would return to the darkness and cease to exist again;
Who would remember me anyway? I’m just a waste of space.
That’s what you called me, that’s what I’ll always be to you,
So I hope my death gives you happiness. Know that
One more useless being is gone from your perfect world.

KC - 7/7/07