The Last Note

I throw my knife, I twirl my knife, a knife I’ve had for centuries.
I’m leaning back upon a tree, the cliff edge lying near me.
My open diary sits beside me, clean and white and waiting.
It’s time to stop the pain inside and end this pointless suffering.

So many years I’ve dreamt of you, I’ve wanted you to love me.
Yet I was stupid to believe, or think you might truly see.
For I am nothing, I am useless, and yet I’d always hoped that
Maybe one day, you’d notice me and give me what I needed.

With every time we were together, I felt as though on fire,
A touch from you would set me free and take me even higher.
But she was always perfect, in her looks, her ways, her manners,
And you were caught within her web, enraptured and devoured.

She broke your heart, I know she did, she did so more than once,
And yet you still desired her, ignoring me for months.
I knew I’d never had a chance, compared to her I’m trash
Yet on a fateful evening, that had changed within a flash.

You asked me on a date, and so my heart had danced all night,
Until I found that you were only using me to fight.
A war of jealousy had come, in which my heart had died,
A casualty that you had caused the moment that you lied.

You told me that you loved me and we’d never be apart
You told me that you needed me, since the very start
But then she’d asked you for a dance and you had run away
Disappeared forever more and left me in dismay.

So here I sit, my gown destroyed, a fresh tear down my cheek,
I draw the knife along my wrist and find the vein I seek.
Small droplets gather on my arm creating a thin line,
I use the blood to write this poem, for which I will now sign.

Goodbye, farewell, I wish you luck, I’m sure she loves you too,
I hope you love her in the same way that I do love you.
A perfect night to die, the stars and moon light up the sky,
They’ll help me, while I’m falling down, to feel as though I fly.

KC - 19 Feb 2006